{"id":43071,"date":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","date_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/?p=43071"},"modified":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","modified_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","slug":"la-dhea-par-albert-simeoni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/la-dhea-par-albert-simeoni\/","title":{"rendered":"La DHEA, par Albert Simeoni"},"content":{"rendered":"
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AU THEATRE DE BREITOU \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n

SHALLOM AAL KOL AAM ISRAEL
.<\/p>\n

Il s’adresse \u00e0 la salle.<\/p>\n

‘Y’a t’il parmi vous un jeune homme du nom de BENYAMINE\u2026?\u2026.’\u2026\u2026. BENYAMINE\u2026.?\u2026\u2026 Je ne te vois pas\u2026Baissez les spots s’il vous plait\u2026\u2026.?\u2026..Merci\u2026\u2026!’<\/p>\n

‘C’est moi\u2026.Monsieur\u2026..!’<\/p>\n

‘Ah\u2026! Viens\u2026.N’aie crainte\u2026!.Monte mon fils pr\u00e8s de moi\u2026.Tiens\u2026..! Prends ma main\u2026..!’<\/p>\n

Il monte\u2026\u2026
‘Que D.ieu te b\u00e9nisse…tu es beau 5 X 5. Tu as treize ans je crois\u2026..Tes yeux sont bleus comme l’azur et ton \u00e2me me paraissent purs comme l’eau qui coule d’une source d’innocence\u2026.<\/p>\n

MUSIQUE\u2026en arri\u00e8re fond\u2026..<\/p>\n

‘ Y\u00e9rouchalayim ch\u00e8l shallom\u2026\u2026.. Y\u00e9rouchalayim ch\u00e8l rkh\u00e2lo \u2026Y\u00e9rouchalaim ha schl\u00e8ma yal l\u00e8 ch\u00e8lha ouma\u2026\u2026.Y\u00e9rouchalaiem ch\u00e8l zahar \u00e8 ch\u00e9roufra da a diaghda y\u00e8 sa \u00e9laim l\u00e8 Y\u00e8rouchalaim l\u00e8 schl\u00e8ma\u2026..’<\/p>\n

Paroles d’ICHTAR.( Je m’excuse, je parle mal l’h\u00e9breu)<\/p>\n

‘ N’ais pas peur tu ne remonteras pas sur la tebba pour relire la Haftara\u2026.!.Non tu es sur les planches bidons du th\u00e9\u00e2tre CHI MARDOUM\u2026\u2026.Tes parents sont l\u00e0 je crois\u2026..! Bonsoir Mme et Mr\u2026\u2026..!’ HOUTTE AALI\u2026.!’
Tu as compris ce que j’ai dis\u2026\u2026?’<\/p>\n

‘Oui\u2026.tu leur a souhait\u00e9 de bonnes vacances pour le mois d’AOUT\u2026..!’<\/p>\n

‘Oui c’est \u00e0 peu pr\u00e8s \u00e7a\u2026! C’est un mot en jud\u00e8o- arabe\u2026.qui veut dire ‘Que D.ieu te pr\u00e9serve de l’\u0153il\u2026 Ce n’\u00e9tait pas un Poisson d’ AVRIL\u2026.. T u veux participer \u2026?’<\/p>\n

‘Oui Tonton\u2026.!\u00a0\u00bbMerci\u2026\u2026Ecoutes\u2026.! Je vais appeler ma maman dans quelques minutes\u2026\u2026\u2026! Je vais ‘sketcher’ avec elle. Elle est extraordinaire\u2026.\u00e0 82 piges elle garde toute sa s\u00e9r\u00e9nit\u00e9, sa fra\u00eecheur d’esprit et son amour pour ses enfants quand on lui paye ses vacances \u00e0 JUAN YUPIN ( je plaisante) Elle ne se plaint jamais\u2026..’<\/p>\n

Ca y est\u2026.<\/p>\n

‘DRING\u2026..DRING\u2026..DRING\u2026.\u2026\u2026..
‘Tiens c’est elle……!’<\/p>\n

LA D.H.E.A.
(Pilules de rajeunissement)
( Deah ou deweh =maux et rem\u00e8des )
MA MAMAN -\u2018B\u00e9b\u00e8rt\u2026..tu as entendu parler de la DHEA\u2026 ?
-\u2018Oui\u2026.c\u2019est une nouvelle orientation en fac\u2026. !\u2019
-\u2018Nooooon\u2026.ya bim\u2026ya j\u00e8hh\u2026ya blid\u2026.ya tkil\u2026ya mard\u2026.ya rkik\u2026. !\u2019
( \u2018\u00e9sp\u00e8ce d\u2019\u00e2ne\u2026de mule\u2026d\u2019antipathique\u2026de lourd\u2026.de malade\u2026.collant\u2026. !\u2019)
-\u2018C\u2019est tout maman\u2026.je te remercie\u2026. Et dans tout ca c\u2019est quoi\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Non je ne le sais pas \u2026je te le demande\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018D.H.E.A je crois que cela veut dire Drag\u00e9es Hom\u00e9opathiques pour Enc\u00e9phaline Atrophi\u00e9e.. !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2019Atrophi\u00e9 toi m\u00eame\u2026 !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Tu as \u00e7a maman\u2026.tu es atteinte par cette maladie\u2026. ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Tu veux dire mon fils, que c\u2019est pour les gens qui ont la cervelle kif \u00e8l khn\u00e9n\u00e8h\u2026 ?\u2019 (comme de la morve).<\/p>\n

-\u2018Peut \u00eatre\u2026.en tout cas moi d\u2019apr\u00e8s ta prestation \u00e0 Juan pendant nos vacances, ta cervelle et ta langue, elles sont en bonne sant\u00e9\u2026 !<\/p>\n

-\u2018Ey\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u2026..khoudni by\u00e2in\u2026. !\u2019 (Prends moi de l\u2019\u0153il)<\/p>\n

-\u2018Non\u2026.je plaisante\u2026.c\u2019 est nouveau m\u00e9dicament de rajeunissement\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Qu\u2019est- ce que tu penses si je l\u2019essayais ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-Apr\u00e8s tout\u2026.pourquoi pas mamaaaaan\u2026.hein.. !<\/p>\n

-\u2018Tu ne veux pas que ta m\u00e8re rajeunisse\u2026.ya h\u00e2choudi\u2026 ? (Jaloux)<\/p>\n

-\u2018 Qu\u2019est -ce tu as vu de la vie toi \u00e0 80 piges et quelques lignes de journaux ? en plus des cachets hom\u00e8o que tu as pour tes rhumatismes\u2026pour l\u2019arthrose\u2026pour la circulation\u2026pour la tension et son hyper\u2026tes migraines\u2026tes canaux vert\u00e8braux qui se bouchent\u2026.chou\u00e8h une autre pilule jaune ou noire en plus\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

-Oui\u2026 ! qu\u2019est- ce que j\u2019ai vu de la vie \u2026je pr\u00e9f\u00e9re \u00eatre sur terre avec mes cachets technicolors qu\u2019au paradis en bonne sant\u00e9\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Au paradis\u2026pas en enfer\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-En enfer .. ? ya ingrat\u2026ya khr\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u2026 !\u2019(merdeux)<\/p>\n

-Bon\u2026.supposons que tu suives un traitement de six mois\u2026.tu rajeunis de 63 ans\u2026et nous qu\u2019est- ce qu\u2019on fait de toi\u2026. ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-Et bien ..vous n\u2019aurez plus de probl\u00e8me\u2026 !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2019Comment -\u00e7a\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018-Je pourrais sortir\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Sortir avec mes filles\u2026aller danser\u2026flirter\u2026te mettre en jean serr\u00e9 avec un per\u00e7ing au nombril\u2026tu laisseras appara\u00eetre la lisi\u00e8re de ta culotte\u2026\u2026te trouver un copain\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Ouaaaah\u2026 ! chnou\u00e8\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9h\u2026 ?..tu n\u2019as pas honte ..je suis veuve\u2026. !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Et alors veuve \u00e0 20 ans.. ! \u00e7a veut dire que moi \u00e0 56 ans je vais m\u2019occuper de ma m\u00e8re qui avait 81 ans et qui tout d\u2019un coup est devenue vierge\u2026. ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018C\u2019est \u00e7a ton id\u00e9e.. ? alors tu crois qu\u2019\u00e0 cause de vous je vais me sacrifier et ne pas prendre ces cachets\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Prends les maman \u2026prends la DHEA, l\u2019hormone de croissance et le viagra\u2026la totale\u2026et tu refais
aussi tes fesses molles\u2026 tu seras moins ridicule\u2026 !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Et les gens seront fiers de votre m\u00e8re en mini jupe\u2026. !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018En mini jupe\u2026 ? et peut \u00eatre dans un landau si tu pousses le traitement pendant 1 an.. !<\/p>\n

-\u2018Vous allez m\u2019acheter des langes\u2026des pointes\u2026alors B\u00e8bert.. ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-Non\u2026 ! des pampers en string ma fille et une sucette bi-color\u2026.je toucherai les allocs pour toi\u2026. !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Pourquoi \u2026tu touches toi les allocs\u2026 ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018A deux ans maman\u2026 je serai ton tuteur\u2026tu les toucheras \u00e0 ta majorit\u00e9\u2026 !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018B\u00e8lhafi\u00e9\u2026t\u00e8wa djib\u00e8n torchi kh\u00e8l\u2026.\u2019 (Tu vas les d\u00e9penser)<\/p>\n

-A\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2h\u2026.!j\u2019ai une meilleure id\u00e9e\u2026..si avec la gr\u00e2ce de D.ieu..le docteur te prescrit 2 ans de traitement
\u2026tu deviendras une ovule que je cong\u00e8lerai\u2026heiiiiinh\u2026qu\u2019est- ce que tu en penses\u2026. ?\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018L\u00e9h ( non)\u2026.lou (non) je n\u2019aime pas le froid\u2026. !\u2019<\/p>\n

-\u2018Eky\u00e2d f\u00e8l chr\u00e8nn\u00e9h bah d\u00e8n\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9h\u2026bl\u00e9chi dh\u00e8a ou b\u00e8l-dew\u00e8h\u2026.
\u2018-(Restes avec nous dans la chaleur sans maux mais avec rem\u00e8des\u2026.)<\/p>\n

Vers la fin\u2026..<\/p>\n

‘Attends, avant de partir, je te fais \u00e9couter cette chanson d’un grand chanteur populaire , RAOUL JOURNO qui vit encore quelque part, dans mon c\u0153ur. VIOLON.<\/p>\n

‘\u2026..L\u00e8ya ya’mtal\u00e8t yalliy\u00e8 \u2026.w\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9h ouachetek gad\u00e8k oud\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2\u00e2t\u00e8kke\u2026..Bis
T\u00e9we tebki yalliyyyyyyyyyy\u00e8 w’ \u00e9l arouch qualbi cht\u00e8g
Ateb ou soul\u00e8k yall\u00e8ye\u2026\u2026..Ateb ou soul\u00e8k yal\u00e8lia\u2026\u2026.
Yer’ham \u00e9l \u00f4m\u2026\u00e9lli bn\u00e2tek ‘ (je larmoie) .<\/p>\n

(‘ Pour moi elle s’est envol\u00e9e\u2026\u2026. J’ai langui ta pr\u00e9sence et ta parole.
A pr\u00e9sent tu pleures o toiiiiiiiiiiiiiii\u2026\u2026 pure racine de mon c\u0153ur
Toi qui a souffert et endur\u00e9 pour moi\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026que D.ieu b\u00e9nisse les entrailles
Qui t’ ont fait naitre.’) MERCI RAOUL QUE D.IEU PROLONGE TA VIE.<\/p>\n

‘Frag\u00e8k y\u00e2 m\u00e2\u2026\u2026\u00e2al\u00e8y\u00e8h s\u00e2yib\u2026.
Fragu\u00e8k y\u00e8 m\u00e2\u00e2\u2026.\u00e2\u00e2ll\u00e8y\u00e8 s\u00e2yib<\/p>\n

M\u00e9n ou\u00e2hch\u00e8k y\u00e0 m\u00e2\u00e2\u2026\u2026 \u00e9nneh gu\u00e8rib,
M\u00e8n ouachk\u00e8tk y\u00e2 m\u00e2\u2026\u2026 \u00e9nneh gu\u00e8rib
Frag\u00e8k y\u00e2 m\u00e2\u00e2\u2026… \u00e2\u00e2ll\u00e8y\u00e8 sayib
Fragr\u00e8k ya m\u00e2\u00e2\u2026.. yall\u00e8ye sayib\u2026.
Y\u00e2 m\u00e2 ya m\u00e2\u2026\u2026’<\/p>\n

(Ta s\u00e9paration maman \u2026\u2026pour moi\u2026est insupportable\u2026\u2026
Et ton absence maman\u2026.j’en suis conscient\u2026.’)
(Ceci est \u00e9crit en langue arabe du sud tunisien)<\/p>\n

‘Merci\u2026.de ta collaboration\u2026\u2026 va rejoindre tes parents\u2026\u2026.BEN\u2026mon fils\u2026.Rabbi i yaich\u00e8k\u2026\u2026!’
‘Ounti j\u00e8dd\u00e8h\u2026.!’
‘Aaaaaaaah\u2026\u2026petit cachottier\u2026.! Tu comprenais alors\u2026\u2026.’ Je t’embrasse\u2026!’
‘Merci TONTON\u2026..’<\/p>\n

AIMES ET RESPECTE LES POUR TOUTE TA VIE\u2026..BEN\u2026.Ya ziz.<\/p>\n

MERCI DE VOTRE ATTENTION A DEMAIN. <\/b><\/p>\n\n

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<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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AU THEATRE DE BREITOU \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. SHALLOM AAL KOL AAM ISRAEL . Il s’adresse \u00e0 la salle. ‘Y’a t’il parmi vous un jeune homme du nom de BENYAMINE\u2026?\u2026.’\u2026\u2026. BENYAMINE\u2026.?\u2026\u2026 Je ne te vois pas\u2026Baissez les spots s’il vous plait\u2026\u2026.?\u2026..Merci\u2026\u2026!’ ‘C’est moi\u2026.Monsieur\u2026..!’ ‘Ah\u2026! Viens\u2026.N’aie crainte\u2026!.Monte mon fils pr\u00e8s de moi\u2026.Tiens\u2026..! Prends ma main\u2026..!’ Il monte\u2026\u2026 ‘Que D.ieu… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":23295,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-souvenirs"],"yoast_head":"\nLa DHEA, par Albert Simeoni | HARISSA.COM<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"AU THEATRE DE BREITOU \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. SHALLOM AAL KOL AAM ISRAEL . Il s'adresse \u00e0 la salle. 'Y'a t'il parmi vous un jeune homme du nom de BENYAMINE\u2026?\u2026.'\u2026\u2026.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/la-dhea-par-albert-simeoni\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"La DHEA, par Albert Simeoni | HARISSA.COM\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"AU THEATRE DE BREITOU \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. SHALLOM AAL KOL AAM ISRAEL . Il s'adresse \u00e0 la salle. 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