{"id":43074,"date":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","date_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/?p=43074"},"modified":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","modified_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:22","slug":"la-fausse-couche-par-albert-simeoni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/la-fausse-couche-par-albert-simeoni\/","title":{"rendered":"La fausse couche, par Albert Simeoni"},"content":{"rendered":"
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AU THEATRE CE SOIR. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Shallom aal kol \u00e2\u00e2m Israel. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Sallam yalli k\u00f4m… <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0 LA FAUSSE COUCHE. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Mes chers amis, je vous rappelle que EMMA et Alain sont’ mari\u00e9es’. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0Emma est enceinte\u2026.Que voulez-vous, la nature a de ses myst\u00e8res que les myst\u00e8res eux m\u00eame n’on en pas. Ne cherchons pas \u00e0 la comprendre, vaut mieux \u00eatre ignorant\u00a0 qu’averti dans ce domaine tordu. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Elle est suivi par son gyn\u00e9 , Madame Estella, professeur \u00e0 la clinique LES LENDEMAINS QUI DECHANTENT. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026’Voil\u00e0 Professeuresse\u2026..’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

La prof\u2026..’ Professeur tout court\u2026.’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026’ Voil\u00e0 ‘professeure’ tout court, j’ai des coliques depuis que je suis enceinte\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

La prof\u2026..’ Ah\u2026..Je vois\u2026!\u2026Vous \u00eates anormalement enfl\u00e9e\u2026..! J’ai l’impression que votre b\u00e9b\u00e9 p\u00e8se\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026’ Oh\u2026.! Pour \u00e7a que oui\u2026\u2026Il me p\u00e8se depuis trois mois d\u00e9j\u00e0\u2026.Vous savez\u2026.?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

La prof\u2026..’ Bon\u2026.! Allez \u2026.! Allongez vous sur le dos\u2026.Je vais vous ausculter\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026’ Oui et surtout n’y allez pas de main molle\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

LE PROFESSEUR lui t\u00e2te le pouls, prends sa tension etc\u2026\u2026 <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

‘Votre respiration est bonne\u2026..Dites\u00a0 Ahh\u2026.Ahh\u2026.;’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Oh vous s avez\u2026. J ‘ai l’habitude des AHHHH\u2026.AHHHH\u2026..! <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Mais pas si long\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Emmme\u2026.Emmme\u2026..Ah\u2026Ah\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Mais dites moi\u2026..! Avez vous fait des analyses\u00a0 d’urine\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

QUIPROCO, elle a compris marine\u2026. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Mais pas du tout\u2026..! Jamais de ma vie je n’ai fais \u00e7a\u2026.! J’ai tout fais mais \u00e7a,\u00a0 \u00e7a alors\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le Prof\u2026\u2026’ Mais il le faut pourtant EMMA\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Mais on ne m ‘as jamais appell\u00e9e pour \u00e7a\u2026..Et puis \u00e0 mon \u00e2ge\u2026.! Avec un b\u00e9b\u00e9\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Emma\u2026..Il le faut pourtant\u2026C’est mieux pour la suite des \u00e9v\u00e8nements\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Bon j’irai au minist\u00e8re de la guerre alors\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ La guerre\u2026\u2026? Mais quelle guerre\u2026.Emma\u2026..Il faut aller au laboratoire\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Labo\u2026..de la Marine\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Non\u2026\u2026Bon je vous fais une ordonnance\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Vous savez prof\u2026..Je sens comme des bouff\u00e9es de chaleur d\u00e8s fois\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Tournez vous\u2026.Je vais vous prendre la temp\u00e9rature avec mon thermom\u00e8tre\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Vous n’auriez pas plut\u00f4t un barom\u00e8tre\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’Mais pourquoi un barom\u00e8tre\u2026\u2026? <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ \u2026Pour mesurer la direction du vent\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Mais c ‘est avec une girouette qu’on devine la direction du vent EMMA\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Bon allons y pour une pirouette\u2026..j’adore \u00e7a\u2026.! <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ \u2026Une girouette\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Bon\u2026.! Allez donc avec votre girouette\u2026!.Mais avec un coq au bout\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Un coq gallois\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Oh que oui ceux sont les meilleurs\u2026..! On plus ils donnent de la voix\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ C’est bizarre\u2026\u2026! Le mercure\u2026il monte et descend comme un ascenseur\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Et alors\u2026..! Qu’est ce qu’il a mon trou du c\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Je n’ai jamais vu \u00e7a\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Vous ne pourriez pas mettre un doigt pour mesurer ma fi\u00e8vre\u2026.?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Vous voulez dire un toucher rectal\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Natal\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Vous \u00eates bouch\u00e9e\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ COMMENT CA BOUCHEE\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Je vais vous faire une purge\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026..’ J’adore\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026.’ Oh taisez vous Emma\u2026..! Vous n ‘avez que \u00e7a dans la t\u00eate\u2026.! <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026..’ Et vous !\u2026Vous avez quoi du beau gazon\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Qu’insinuez vous\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Rien\u2026..J’allusionnais\u2026..’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Bon \u2026..Attention je vais faire p\u00e9n\u00e9trer la canule\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Oh que oui\u2026\u2026! Allez y\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Je dois faire attention \u00e0 ne pas vous blesser\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Vous savez me blesser \u2026.! Au point o\u00f9 il est\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ C’est bizarre\u2026..Je sens quelque chose de fluctuant\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ C’est quoi fluctuant\u2026\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Attendez\u2026\u2026!Je sens des gargouillements\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ C’est peut \u00eatre le b\u00e9b\u00e9\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Ah voil\u00e0 \u00e7a y est\u2026..! <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Mais\u2026\u2026! Je me d\u00e9gonfle\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Et oui c ‘\u00e9tait une grosse a\u00e9rophagie persistante bien cal\u00e9e\u2026.! <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Bien cal\u00e9e en plus\u2026..! Yattik chr\u00e8n\u00e9ee\u2026.Amin\u2026..! <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Des gaz\u2026..! Des gaz \u2026.! EMMA\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Accumul\u00e9s \u2026\u2026! O\u00f9\u2026..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Dans votre ventre\u2026\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ OUALLIA MON BEBE C’ \u00e9tait du vent\u2026\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Vous pouvez toujours le mettre en bouteille\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’ Et qu’est ce que je vais dire \u00e0 ALAIN\u2026\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le prof\u2026\u2026’ Emmenez lui un \u00e9chantillon\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

EMMA rentre chez elle\u2026\u2026..’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

‘ Alain\u2026\u2026.?\u2026\u2026Alain\u2026\u2026..? Tu es l\u00e0\u2026\u2026.?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Alain\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Ben oui\u2026\u2026! On nous a coup\u00e9\u00a0 le gaz EMMA\u2026\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026..’ Ca tombe bien\u2026\u2026.! Tiens prends \u00e7a\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Alain\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Quoi\u2026\u2026? Ma ch\u00e9rie\u2026..Un cadeau\u2026\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026..’ NON\u2026\u2026! TON FILS EN GAZZZZZZZZZZZZ\u2026\u2026..IL A FAIT PSCHITT COMME CHICHI\u2026\u2026’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Alain\u2026\u2026\u2026’En plus \u2026.Il pue\u2026\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026..’ ET OUI C’ ETAIT TON FILS A VAPEUR\u2026\u2026EUX\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n

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AU THEATRE CE SOIR. Shallom aal kol \u00e2\u00e2m Israel. Sallam yalli k\u00f4m… \u00a0 LA FAUSSE COUCHE. Mes chers amis, je vous rappelle que EMMA et Alain sont’ mari\u00e9es’. \u00a0Emma est enceinte\u2026.Que voulez-vous, la nature a de ses myst\u00e8res que les myst\u00e8res eux m\u00eame n’on en pas. Ne cherchons pas \u00e0 la comprendre, vaut mieux \u00eatre… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":23295,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-souvenirs"],"yoast_head":"\nLa fausse couche, par Albert Simeoni | HARISSA.COM<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"AU THEATRE CE SOIR. Shallom aal kol \u00e2\u00e2m Israel. Sallam yalli k\u00f4m... \u00a0 LA FAUSSE COUCHE. Mes chers amis, je vous rappelle que EMMA et Alain sont' mari\u00e9es'.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/la-fausse-couche-par-albert-simeoni\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"La fausse couche, par Albert Simeoni | HARISSA.COM\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"AU THEATRE CE SOIR. Shallom aal kol \u00e2\u00e2m Israel. Sallam yalli k\u00f4m... \u00a0 LA FAUSSE COUCHE. 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