{"id":43174,"date":"2026-10-03T03:29:29","date_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/?p=43174"},"modified":"2026-10-03T03:29:29","modified_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:29","slug":"le-pacs-par-albert-simeoni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/le-pacs-par-albert-simeoni\/","title":{"rendered":"Le Pacs, par Albert Simeoni"},"content":{"rendered":"
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AU THEATRE CE SOIR <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

SHALLOM AAL KOL AAM ISRAEL.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

LE 16\/5\/02 <\/i><\/p>\n

Sketch<\/h1>\n

LE\u00a0 PACS<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

Emma est un homosexuel. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma est de retour. A 45 ANS, elle est amoureuse.C ‘est dur. Elle est tomb\u00e9e\u00a0 sur un gentil gar\u00e7on de 28 ans. Beau et doux, BCB\u2026\u2026 SDF . Elles se sont rencontr\u00e9es dans une boite de nuit.. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Alain\u2026\u2026…’ Bonjouuur\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Emma\u2026\u2026.’Bonsoiiir\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Je vous offre un veeerre..,’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026.\u2026\u2026’ Ouii..mercii\u2026Monsieureee\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Oh..! Quelle ironiee\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026. \u2026\u2026’ C ‘est si banannee\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 ‘ Je voiiis\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u00a0\u00bbVous m inviteeeez \u00e0 danseeer\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Oh\u2026! Excuseeeez\u2026Moi\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Elles se l\u00e8vent, toutes les deux en jeans serr\u00e9s,\u00a0 bleu et rouge. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Vous senteeeez bon\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Taiseeeez vouuus\u2026Vous senteez l’aiiil\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ En effeet\u2026Je sorrs de taaable\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Ca vieent de la taablle alors\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’Vous senteez quand m\u00eamme bonnn..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ C’eeet du POISOOON\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Vous n’en vouleez pas j’\u00e8sp\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8re\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ B\u00e8taaaa\u2026! Poison c ‘est une marrque.. de parfum BCBG…Teneeez enfonceeez ce mastic dans la boucheee\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Elle lui offre\u00a0 chewing-gum. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Bref, elles se draguent, les deux p\u00e8taasses, comme au canal de la GOULETTE. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Elles se donnent rendez-vous chez l’une et chez l’autre. Au bout de deux semaines. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Elles montent au lit. Puis\u2026.Au bout de six semaines\u2026. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Je veuux t ‘\u00e8pouseeer\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026…..’ Ohhhhhhhh\u2026..! Mooon D ieuu…A mon \u00e2\u00e2age\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026’ Ouii\u2026..Tuu le veuxxx bienn\u2026’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026’ Jee r\u00e8serve ma r\u00e8ponssse\u2026.Dannns\u2026.Tout de suiiiite\u2026Ouiii\u2026Je le veuuuux\u2026Ma biquetttteee..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Elles pleurent les deux connes. E t s’embrassent\u00a0 fougueusemeeeent. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026’ Mais\u2026.! Tu t ‘imagineeee , tu me voiiiis enceinnnte\u2026.’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026’ E t alorrrrs\u2026.Je veuuux \u00eatrrre papaaaa\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026.’ C ‘est paas toiii..qui va endurrer les neufff moiiiiis\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026.’ Jee te soutiendraiiiis \u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026.’ A v eeeec ton \u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Mehl\u00e8\u00e8m \u00e8l zouiez Y\u00e8 JEX\u2026.( Un ami du cafe des DATTES) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..’ Je tee l\u00e8gueraiii mes r\u00e8gleees\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..’ Moiiii\u2026.Ma fortuuuune\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..’ Ne diis pas c\u00e0\u00e0\u00e0\u2026.Jee suis pluus vieillllee que toiii\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Jee ne pourrai pas vivreee apr\u00e8s toiii\u2026’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

M\u00e8hl\u00e8m \u00e8l zouiz touy\u00e8bout\u2026.Y\u00e8 TAWFIK.( Un ami dans adra\u00b0 <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..’ Cessonnns ces enfantillages\u2026Pr\u00e8paronns notre mariaaage\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..’Okeyyy\u2026..! Je pourraiis inviteeeer mes amannnnts\u2026.?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’Surtouuuut pas Gis\u00e8leeee\u2026Haloum\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u2026!Jee la haiiiis\u2026.Celllle l\u00e0\u00e0\u00e0\u00e0\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026’Oh\u2026\u2026.Queee noooonn\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Demaaain j’iraaais voir mon amiii ROGER, pour les alliances..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

M\u00e8hl\u00e8m \u00e8l zouiz n\u00e8y\u00e8\u2026\u2026 <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A une semaine du mariage. Elles ont invit\u00e9 leurs amis ALBERT, BELEBOU et BREITOU. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Allo\u2026! Bel\u00e8bou….Y\u00e8 ouldi…Tu va aller au mariage ta \u00e8l zouez….!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Belebou\u2026;\u2026.’Mouebn\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u2026.? Ah\u2026..Eye\u2026..Bien sur il faut les respecter\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026;\u2026’Tu es vulgaire\u2026.EMMA c ‘est comme ma fille\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Belebou\u2026..\u2026’ Tberkalah\u2026.m\u00e8n\u00e8 bn\u00e8y\u00e8\u2026..( D ieu b\u00e9nisse et\u00a0 qu’elle fille..!)’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Jaloux\u2026.! M\u00e8ghiar\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Plus tard\u2026\u2026. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Allo\u2026..! Breitou…? <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Breitou………….’ Eye….Y\u00e8 arfi…..! ( patron) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Alebrt……………’ M\u00e8ch t\u00e8mechi…..?’ ( Tu vas aller\u2026.?) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Breitou…………’ El m\u00e8ttah ta Haiy\u00e8m…….?’ ( A l’ enterrement de VICTOR\u2026.?’) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026..’ L\u00e8ee\u2026.! El yoss ta EMMA\u00a0 ou ALAIN…..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Breitou\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Tu veux dire \u00e8l yarch\u2026..( mariage)\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026..’ Eye samahni\u2026..ma langue a fourche\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Breitou\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Oui bien sur\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

On est chez EMMA\u2026.et ALAIN <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Ma ch\u00e8riiiie\u2026.? Comment me trouves tu en rose…..?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Comme un bonbonnne\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Alorrrs\u2026.viens me suce\u2026\u2026..r tr\u00e8sooooor\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ J’ai mauvaiiiiise haleinnnnnnnne ‘ (J <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

M\u00e8hl\u00e8m \u00e8l zouiez hmeme\u2026. ( pigeonnnes) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Elles sont \u00e0 la mairie devant le maire. Quand EMMA aper\u00e7oit contre toute attente GISELE <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Assise au premier rang en plus. Blata. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Alors \u00e7a\u2026..! Cellll\u00e0\u00e0\u00e0\u00e0\u2026.Qu’est ce qu’ellllee fait l\u00e0\u00e0\u00e0\u00e0\u2026.?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Maiiiiiiiis\u2026\u2026?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Salopppppppe\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ Chutttttttte\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Noooon\u2026\u2026.Je suis outr\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Maiiiiis \u2026..Tais toiii\u2026Outr\u00e8e\u00a0 toi m\u00ea\u00ea\u00eame\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Non\u2026\u2026Noooon\u2026..Pas \u00e0 mon mariaaaage\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Calmeeeee toiii\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

EMMA se l\u00e8ve\u2026.Et s ‘adresse \u00e0 GISELE en code\u2026. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ VDM\u2026..!’ ( Voleuse De Maris\u2026.) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

G\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ VTT\u2026..!’ ( Voleuse Tunisienne de Tantous) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ VDH\u2026!’ ( Voleuse Des Hommes) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

G\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ VTFF\u2026! ( Va Te F aire Fou\u2026) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

E\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ EDF \u2026…! ( Esp\u00e8ce De Folle……) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

G\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026’ GDF\u2026..!\u00a0 ( Garce De France\u2026.) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026’ Y\u00e8 Belebou\u2026..Je crois qu’elles se\u00a0 disputent \u00e0 cause des charges\u2026? <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Belebou\u2026\u2026’ Laisse moi entendre\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert va vers les deux ‘ femmellettes\u2026’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

‘Bon \u00e9coutez, voil\u00e0 je paye vos factures \u2026Ok\u2026!Mais taisez-vous\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Gis\u00e9le\u2026\u2026\u2026..’Mais de quoi il parle celui l\u00e0\u2026.Je ne suis pas jet\u00e8ee moi\u2026Monsieur\u2026.?’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Breitou\u2026\u2026..’ Je t ‘ai dis Albert\u00a0 ne te m\u00eale pas\u2026..!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026’ J’ai voulu mettre le Challoum, entre ses deux femmes\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Belebou\u2026\u2026..’ Tu m\u00e9rite qu’elles t’insultent\u2026\u2026’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Gis\u00e9le\u2026\u2026…..’ P D\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026..’ Ah c ‘est comme \u00e7a\u2026.In yadd\u2026.R\u00e2\u00e2b\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Belebou\u2026\u2026..’ Saloparde\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Breitou\u2026\u2026..’S H F\u2026.!’ ( Sales Femmes en Hommes ) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le Maire veut s ‘interposer\u2026\u2026. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

‘Messieurs, pardon Mesdaaaaaaames\u2026\u2026’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Gis\u00e8le\u2026\u2026\u2026.’ O vous Monsieur LE MAIRE, taisez-vous, ON CONNAIT VOS CULOTTES. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Le MAIRE\u2026’ Oh\u2026..! Oh\u2026\u2026!Oh\u2026.!.Je suis\u00a0 outr\u00e8eeee\u2026.et coinc\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u00e8\u2026.!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Un t\u00e9moin au fond de la salle\u2026\u2026..’ J’arrive\u2026\u2026’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Albert\u2026\u2026\u2026..’ Ecoutes Breitou, la prochaine fois tu fais ton th\u00e9\u00e2tre tout seul OK\u2026\u2026? Moi me faire traiter de la sorte\u2026\u2026!’ <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Belebou\u2026\u2026.’\u00a0 La prochaine fois\u2026..N\u00e8mchi \u00e8l metta T\u00e8 HAIM EL RAJEL, au moins lui il n’aurait rien dit. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

ALBERT.( ETHAK YE TAW..) <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n

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AU THEATRE CE SOIR SHALLOM AAL KOL AAM ISRAEL. LE 16\/5\/02 Sketch LE\u00a0 PACS Emma est un homosexuel. Emma est de retour. A 45 ANS, elle est amoureuse.C ‘est dur. Elle est tomb\u00e9e\u00a0 sur un gentil gar\u00e7on de 28 ans. Beau et doux, BCB\u2026\u2026 SDF . Elles se sont rencontr\u00e9es dans une boite de nuit..… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1880,"featured_media":56578,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-souvenirs"],"yoast_head":"\nLe Pacs, par Albert Simeoni | HARISSA.COM<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"AU THEATRE CE SOIR SHALLOM AAL KOL AAM ISRAEL. LE 16\/5\/02 Sketch LE\u00a0 PACS Emma est un homosexuel. Emma est de retour. 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