{"id":43224,"date":"2026-10-03T03:29:37","date_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/?p=43224"},"modified":"2026-10-03T03:29:37","modified_gmt":"2026-10-03T03:29:37","slug":"li-mess-par-albert-simeoni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harissa.com\/news-wp\/li-mess-par-albert-simeoni\/","title":{"rendered":"Li Mess, par Albert Simeoni"},"content":{"rendered":"
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LI MESSE<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

LES MEMOIRES D\u0092UN GOULETTOIS<\/h1>\n

L\u0092 ENFANT DE LA GOULETTE<\/b><\/p>\n

PAR ALBERT SIMEONI (BEBERT)\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Dans la s\u00e9rie des sketchs \u0085\u0085<\/b><\/p>\n

20\/2\/2000 <\/b><\/p>\n

\"DANS<\/p>\n

‘……LI MESSE …..’….<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dialogues authentiques.<\/b><\/p>\n

Dans ma boutique , accessoires de\u00a0 coiffure et gris-gris…….<\/b><\/p>\n

-‘ Albert ……le henn\u00e9 \u00e7a\u00a0 fait pousser les cheveux……?’<\/b><\/p>\n

-‘Oui……ma belle…..regardes les miens…!\u00a0 (\u00a0 Je suis presque chauve).<\/b><\/p>\n

Une dame (antillaise) de tr\u00e8s forte corpulence\u00a0 et courte sur talons….. chuchote \u00e0 mon oreille\u00a0 , et jette des regards m\u00e9fiants \u00e0 droite et \u00e0 gauche …..<\/b><\/p>\n

Elle ‘Monsieur……chaque soir …… j’ai un esprit qui vient me voir …’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘ Et alors ….qu’est ce que je peux faire pour lui….!’<\/b><\/p>\n

Elle ‘ Euh….c’est pour moi……..il me fait l’amour…..’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘T’as de la chance ……parce moi…aucune ‘esprit’ n’est venu me voir en 56 ans..!.’<\/b><\/p>\n

Elle ‘ Mais ……..pas n’importe comment ……?’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘ Ah bon…….et comment alors….?’<\/b><\/p>\n

Elle ‘Euh…..il me prend \u00e0 l’envers…..’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘ Ahhhhhhhhh….eye\u00a0 ……..tu veux dire qu’il retourne la table…..!’<\/b><\/p>\n

Elle ‘Non….pas la table…..moi…..!’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘Oui ..j’ai compris ….par le der….’<\/b><\/p>\n

Elle ‘ C’est \u00e7a par …..comme tu as dis…..’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘ Bon \u00e9coutes …..s’il revient encore dis lui de passer me voir …..je vais le\u00a0circoncire..’<\/b><\/p>\n

Un s\u00e9n\u00e9galais de la province……<\/b><\/p>\n

‘Bonjour …Messiou…zi v\u00e9 des ‘messes ‘ ( m\u00e8ches pour tresser ).<\/b><\/p>\n

‘Ok ……..combien…?’<\/b><\/p>\n

‘Quatre…..’<\/b><\/p>\n

‘Quelle couleur…?’<\/b><\/p>\n

‘Iiiiiiiih…..z\u00e8 c\u00e9 pas…..z\u00e8 p\u00e9 t\u00e8l\u00e9foni….?’<\/b><\/p>\n

‘O\u00f9…..?’<\/b><\/p>\n

‘A Orl\u00e9ans….’<\/b><\/p>\n

‘Bon…..c’est tr\u00e8s loin…..\u00e7a te co\u00fbtera 10 frs….!’<\/b><\/p>\n

‘Zi p\u00e9ye.’….il compose……’Fatoumata……quelle couleur li ‘ m\u00e8sse ‘……Iih..? ..noires…? ……..noires …elle a dit…..’\u00a0 Il raccroche .<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘Quelle marque….? Darling….Linda……Amina…..?<\/b><\/p>\n

Lui ‘ Iiiiih…..y’a la\u00a0 marque ossi……z\u00e8 p\u00e9 t\u00e8lifoni…….?<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘Ok…..\u00e7a va te co\u00fbter encore 10 frs……’<\/b><\/p>\n

Lui ‘Zi p\u00e9ye…..’ Il d\u00e9croche ‘……’Ah ….Inis…..passe moi Fatoumata….! Fatoumata…..?<\/b><\/p>\n

zi quelle marque ti\u00a0 v\u00e9 ….? Ah……Darling…..c\u00e8 bon…..’ Il raccroche .<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘Darling…!\u00a0 celles qui se br\u00fblent \u00e0 l’eau ……ou l’autre……?<\/b><\/p>\n

Lui Iiiiiiih …….ya za ossi…..’ z\u00e8 p\u00e8 appelli…….’ (Encore 10 frs )….Allou…..Myriam ….paze moi In\u00e9s……In\u00e9s…..paze moi Fatoumata……..Fatoumata….li m\u00e9sse …ils zi broule\u00a0 ou pas…..zi broul\u00e9….? Ahh…..ils zi broul\u00e9……ah……bon…..m\u00e9ssi….’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘Bon …..j’ai compris ……\u00e7a\u00a0 fait 40 frs pour les ‘ zi broul\u00e9 ‘\u00a0 plus 30 frs soit 70 frs……’<\/b><\/p>\n

Lui ‘C\u00e8\u00a0 s\u00e9r..(cher)..la prossine fois c\u00e8 ille qui v\u00e9ni pour c\u00e9 m\u00e8sse…..’<\/b><\/p>\n

Moi ‘La prochaine fois ….ris tes \u00e0 ta place ..c\u00e8 le m\u00e9sse\u00a0 qui\u00a0 vini ti voir \u00e0 pieds…..’<\/b><\/p>\n


\u00ab\u00a0albertsimeoni\u00a0\u00bb albertsimeoni@wanadoo.fr<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n

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<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

LI MESSE LES MEMOIRES D\u0092UN GOULETTOIS L\u0092 ENFANT DE LA GOULETTE PAR ALBERT SIMEONI (BEBERT)\u00a0 Dans la s\u00e9rie des sketchs \u0085\u0085 20\/2\/2000 ‘……LI MESSE …..’…. Dialogues authentiques. Dans ma boutique , accessoires de\u00a0 coiffure et gris-gris……. -‘ Albert ……le henn\u00e9 \u00e7a\u00a0 fait pousser les cheveux……?’ -‘Oui……ma belle…..regardes les miens…!\u00a0 (\u00a0 Je suis presque chauve). Une… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1880,"featured_media":50975,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[34,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divers","category-souvenirs"],"yoast_head":"\nLi Mess, par Albert Simeoni | HARISSA.COM<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"LI MESSE LES MEMOIRES D\u0092UN GOULETTOIS L\u0092 ENFANT DE LA GOULETTE PAR ALBERT SIMEONI (BEBERT)\u00a0 Dans la s\u00e9rie des sketchs \u0085\u0085 20\/2\/2000 '......LI MESSE\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, 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